Pulling into the station
June 22, 2005
I'm going to quit my day job. I'm going to give all this up and become a regular guest on VH1's many pop-culture shows. When I'm not in the studio, you'll be able to read my social commentaries on-line and listen to me on your radio on the AM commute slot. I will sit at home with my laptop, watching the Game Show Network all day, churning out weekly bits - a'la Carrie Bradshaw. I will host swanky parties at my beachfront house, serving nothing but cheese, wine, and Cheetos. Mel Gibson will not be allowed on my property, but Janeane Garofalo will probably be holding court on my beanbag couch.And David Spade will be cool again because I said so.
I'm not really quitting my job. I'd like to. To quote Sheryl Crow, "A change (I said a change) will do you good." Sadly, my ideal profession pays jack squat and I would end up a bum on the streets of San Francisco, puttering about the city talking to garbage cans about the state of affairs on Alpha Centauri. Although I'm sure that if you followed me around and wrote about what I said to the garbage cans, you might just have a novelty book that will make a couple million. But don't bother listening in on the conversations I have with the benches...
In the meantime, I'm just going to sit here a while longer and pretend to work. I'm really not up to it today, though. I fell asleep in the shower this morning - I woke with my head resting on that shelf thing that hangs over the showerhead. Hey, want to play a game? Take that last sentence and tell me what part is most bizarre. I'll give you two choices:
a) I fell asleep in the shower
b) this morning
If you said B) you would be correct. Yes, while the roomates are out of town, I have been treating myself to morning showers (instead of evening ones). I have missed morning showers. When I'm rich and famous? I'm taking all the morning showers that I want.
When I am rich... I find that I say that more and more often now. But it mostly comes into play when I'm talking about my house. As in "when I'm rich, I'm going to have ______ in my house." Things you will find in my super rad house include: four SkeeBall lanes (with lights and bells), plexiglass stairs lit from the underside with stuff in them (I'm thinking colored candies, a'la Dillons in NYC), and a bean-bag couch. You know you want to crash on my bean bag couch.
Just have Janeane Garofalo scootch over a bit first.
Breaking Up - July 20, 2006
Chugga Chugga Woo Woo - June 14, 2006
Dammit.Janet. - May 31, 2006
Zee Tee-Vee - May 25, 2006
Tra-la tra-la - May 07, 2006
Some things are better left unsaid. Obviously, these are not those things.
pattianne
janitor-x
nibbleofcorn
supermom3604