Pulling into the station

August 24, 2004

I've recently started my second job (well, second concurrent job. I've had more than my share) working at a place that sells, of all things, cookies. And I mean a lot of cookies. Third day into this job, and already, I've hit a gold mine.

I was at work this morning (which was fine, by the way. I can sell cookies like a mo'fo), and I heard these two girls conversing as they debated internally over which cookies they should procure for themselves. Looking at them, I'd say they were probably high schoolers, maybe sophomores or so. Well, they were discussing, shall we say, "relationship" woes. In the mind of a sophomore, apparently, a relationship consists of, survey says! Sex.

The conversation went about like this.

Girl One: Well, yeah, Ryan is kinda cute, but he's got this problem with premature emancipation.

Girl Two: Maybe if you practice with him, he'll get better, and not emancipate so quickly.

Girl One: Yeah, or I could just dump him and hook up with Anthony. I know he doesn't have any of that premature emancipation problem

Me: *head through safety-glass cases*

Folks, this is shit you can't make up. Apparently, Ryan (whoever the poor bastard is) has a problem with letting slaves go free before the South lost the Civil War. But don't worry. According to Girl Two, practice makes perfect, and I suppose if he gets the chance to emancipate (i.e. Slavery is reestablished and the U.S. gets into another Civil War over it), perhaps Girl One can help him not emancipate until the war is over (or nearly over, as nobody wants to wind up emancipating after the end of the war).

The thing that kills me about it is the fact that they both kept saying "emancipation" as if it were the correct word. Oh, and I made the sales goal for the cart today, all by myself. Yay me.

Premature Emancipation... Jesus Jumping Jack Flash Christ, that's too much.

I have a feeling that we've all just gained a new expression.

Free the Sperm!! stopped here at 9:47 a.m.

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