Pulling into the station
March 11, 2005
Because I have nothing of real interest to share today, how about some more "Worst-Case Scenario" cards?1) How to treat a black eye:
a) Drink lots of fluids and lie down.
b) Run hot water on a cloth napkin and drape it over the eye.
c) Put crushed ice in a plastic bag, wrap the bag in a piece of cloth and rest it on the eye.
2) How to remove a back-clasping bra:
a) Find the clasp. Use your thumb and forefinger to gently wiggle it up and down until it comes free.
b) Visualize the hook and eye closure (the hook is on her right). Bend your index finger over the clasp. Brace your thumb against the eyes and use it to push the hook-side open.
c) Slightly moisten your thumb. Seek out the hooks of the clasp (on her left) and grasp that portion of the clasp with your thumb and forefinger. Snap your fingers to release.
3) How to respond if your date points a gun at you:
a) Hit the ground and yell for help.
b) Run. Odds are slim that you'll be hit while you're in motion.
c) Kick your date as hard as you can. Aim for the groin if your date is a man, aim for the abdomen if your date is a woman.
4) How to survive running into your ex while on a date:
a) Smile and be cordial, but say very little. Let your ex take on the burden of finding things to say.
b) Pretend you don't see your ex, forcing him/her to approach you and establishing your dominance.
c) Look your ex in the eye and smile. Introduce your date and keep moving.
And how did you do? The answers are: 1-C, 2-B, 3-B, 4-C. This is according to the folks at Worst-Case Scenario, of course. I personally think a pocket knife gets the bra off faster, but whatever.
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Okay, I've decided to go ahead and get one of those highlighting kit thingys and give it a go tonight. This leaves me enough time to correct the disaster should one occur. Wish me luck.
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Last night I discovered that I can rig Marvin up to my jooky computer speakers and voila! Instant stereo! Okay, minus the FM/AM radio, but lets be honest here: RP is not known for getting great stations. You have your choice of Mexican, country, or bomp-skiddy. BOB is the only station locally that I like and wouldn't you know, we can't pick up their signal anywhere in our house. Blah.
Happy Friday, everyone!
Breaking Up - July 20, 2006
Chugga Chugga Woo Woo - June 14, 2006
Dammit.Janet. - May 31, 2006
Zee Tee-Vee - May 25, 2006
Tra-la tra-la - May 07, 2006
Some things are better left unsaid. Obviously, these are not those things.
pattianne
janitor-x
nibbleofcorn
supermom3604