Pulling into the station

August 03, 2004

If you didn't read it in December and want a refresher, here's the entry about me being a Religious Mutt. You don't have to go back and read it. Just know that I linked that story to tell you this one...

Have you ever been bitch-slapped upside the head by an unseen force? No, I don't mean an actual whack upside the head like when your brother comes into the room and whops your ears. I mean... Okay, like things are happening at a rapid pace in a certain direction and it feels like you're being shown every sign in the book that this is what you're supposed to do. Like you've asked God for a sign and he's dropped more in front of you than there are on the LA freeways. Know what I mean?

Since that December entry, I have tried to love Jesus. Really. I went and saw "The Passion of the Christ" and "Saved!" and I still can't feel the Jesus love. Okay, so maybe that's telling me something. Maybe I am not supposed to feel the Jesus love.

And look at my classes for the semseter. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, Western Religion isn't my thing? And maybe I'm supposed to take these classes for a reason besides just the units. And maybe there's a reason why I had lunch with a rabbi last night in one of my dreams.

And why is it that the people that I would normally talk to about things that bother me are people who are trying to make me feel that Jesus love? (And no, the therapist isn't much help. "You need to do what you feel is right." Really, Capt'n Obvious?)

I don't know. I never was that good at reading the signs on the freeway...

The Jesus Love stopped here at 3:46 p.m.

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